a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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