can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
