What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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