no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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