did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
