it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
false alarm. still invincible.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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