the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
