C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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