the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Operation Purity has been aborted
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
