so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
