I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
