Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
