She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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