Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
