super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
