Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize