just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
