I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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