The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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