yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
