absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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