so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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