Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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