Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
