would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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