So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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