Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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