When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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