I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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