Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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