people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
