Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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