woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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