how can u be prego again
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
