WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
