i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
