Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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