There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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