I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
