just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
