if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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