..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
