i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
