Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
