Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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