Where is the hickey?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
