haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
