I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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