Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
