She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
