Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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