The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
