Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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