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Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
