Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So much rum. So many feels.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
